Hearts

I’ve fallen asleep here on the couch no less than two times this evening. It may have actually been three, I am unsure. It was unintentional, though I knew going to bed this morning at 1:00 and waking at 7:00 would do me no real good. I had to be in Santa Paula to interview a designer about a new space he’d created at the Santa Paula Airpark. Phenomenal, too. I won’t give anything away, here–but I have a lot more work to do. More interviews, more discussions. Today seemed preliminary.

Then, it was off to meet with our social worker for the adoption process. She met with me this morning, we took a lunch break after two hours, then Sue went in for another two hours. It was grueling for both of us. Why?

It felt as though for two hours, we were being asked to reveal the deepest, tenderest parts of our hearts–but not by someone who wanted to share in them, to revel in them–but by someone who wanted to analyze them. It was an odd feeling and Julia, the young social worker at the helm, was very expert in her abilities. It felt like a simple conversation, but it was not just that. It was an exploration of who we are at our core, our childhoods, our adolescence and our adulthood–our romantic lives, our careers, our parental habits–why we love each other instead of someone else. All of it was so deeply personal, but again–not personal as in sharing with a friend, though Julia was and is very friendly–personal like therapy, only without the “resolution” portion of the appointment.

I came home to do a half hour workout, a rather intense one actually, thinking it would allow me to vent a bit of my angst on the day’s activities–and it did that. But afterward…

…I’m exhausted.

So, we ate hot dogs and sweet potato fries for dinner and I began to lament that I didn’t get more interviewing done on the hangar space and I traded a few e-mails with some editors, a few friends and ignored most phone calls with the exception of my brother. I quaffed a couple of beers and I sat here thinking I was going to go mindless in front of the TV. Didn’t work out that way. The good news is, I’m awake now….

For another couple of minutes.

Posted in Family, Work/writing life