on July 8th, 2008 by mark
I’m delivering the sermon this week in church. Our Pastor is on sabbatical and before he left, the council sort of booked in pinch-hitters. I volunteered some time ago to deliver a sermon and I’ve actually done it before, but I grow a bit leery. Stage fright? No. More like fear of my own ego. Careful now, I’m about to go all Theological on you….
I am painfully aware of my own ego. I can be insufferable at times and I’ve made concerted efforts to really restrain myself for the betterment of myself, my soul–my family. But the fact is, at heart, I’m a ham. I like the center of attention. I crave the spotlight. It’s why I got involved in drama and acting just a few years ago and have always been lured to it, even as a kid. I joined a band when I was 25 and we played together for a long time and I got a taste of the limelight then, too. I wanted to be known. Even my writing career is somewhat of a chase for notoriety. And teaching? Well, at its heart, what I do in the classroom is make sure I get plenty of attention.
So, when I’m preparing a sermon, it’s easy for me to slip into that mode, to prepare myself for performing and for being a ham. But that’s not really the goal, is it? The goal is the glorification of God through Christ, through preaching the gospel and giving people the Word. And to be honest, that’s a daunting task, though I know I can do it–but it’s interesting. I’m in the process of preparing my sermon by stripping it down, not building it up. I’m certain I’m going to “perform” some, it’s in my blood to do that. But I’m more certain that I am going to spend the next couple of days “emptying myself” to allow God to fill me up.
Pastor Craig keeps a note on the pulpit that he looks at each time he’s there. It says, “We do not rely on our own greatness, but the Greatness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.” That is true for life, really. But, right now, it’s true for me in a seriously real way. In short, because of who I am, because of my propensity to want to steal the limelight, I am hoping I don’t. I’m hoping that the words I choose to use are words that God wants me to say and that in the end, if the sermon is good, it’s not because I was good and people are saying so—it will be because the Word was spoken here and because that Word spoke to people through me—to their hearts and minds.
So, the question is not whether I’m up to the task–rather, am I down for the task. Surely, God is up to the task and can use me in any way He chooses. I just have to make sure I let Him.
Posted in Culture
